If you’re in a relationship and suspect your partner may be cheating, it can be difficult to know what to do. There are a few things you should do to keep your relationship safe.
First, don’t confront him unless you have proof. This will help you avoid the repercussions of getting caught.
1. Don’t Talk About It
The best way to deal with a cheating spouse is to give yourself and your partner the time and space to process the information you’ve been given. This will help you decide whether or not to salvage your relationship, move on and start over, or leave things as they are.
A good first step is to reassess your relationship goals and priorities. Make sure that your partner knows you are willing to put in the time and effort to work on your relationship together.
For example, you might want to consider making a commitment to take your relationship to the next level by bringing back the fun and excitement that once made it the envy of your friends. By doing this you’ll likely find yourself in a much better place than you were before. The best part is, you will be able to share those moments with your loved one again! The best way to do this is by being a little more spontaneous.
2. Don’t Get Physical
Cheating is a hard thing to deal with, but it’s also a good way to grow emotionally and learn how to be more compassionate, patient, self-aware, and supportive. It’s important to be honest about how you’re feeling so your partner can offer you the support and care you need.
The physical cheater might be more obvious, but there are also a lot of things you can notice that can give you the clues. For example, if your partner suddenly starts spending more money on new clothes or cologne that they wouldn’t have spent before or goes on long walks alone with their phone at night, those are both signs that they’re not thinking of you or are having an affair.
It’s important to talk about these changes without getting defensive or accusing your partner of being a cheater. This will help you get to the root of why they’re cheating, and if you have a chance to repair their trust.
3. Don’t Leave Evidence
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, don’t leave any evidence. This is because cheaters are sloppy, and they often leave behind a digital trail of evidence that can be difficult to dissect later on.
It can be all-consuming to track down proof of an affair, but if you’re committed to finding it, there are a few smart ways to do it.
Look for suspicious numbers that aren’t saved, or mysterious initials instead of full names. It’s also a good idea to check their browser history, and search for things that are unusual or that you haven’t done together before.
In addition, remember that deleted emails and apps can be retrieved. If you find something suspicious, make sure to restore it from your computer’s trash bin or cloud service. You never know what could come back to haunt you.
4. Don’t Confront Him
Unless you have proof, it is best to not confront your partner when you suspect him of cheating. In some cases, a spouse may have an affair because of feelings of insecurity, and it is not a good idea to put your own emotions on the line when dealing with their infidelity.
Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith suggests that the best approach to dealing with a spouse’s infidelity is to focus on understanding their behavior rather than trying to change it. It’s important to understand why they have cheated, and that may help you work on rebuilding trust and honesty in your relationship.
If you do decide to confront your partner, prepare yourself to receive knee-jerk denials or defensive answers. You need to know how to ask questions in a way that will get him to answer truthfully. It is also a good idea to rehearse your confrontation with friends or a therapist.